Mompetitors, Competitive Mothers. UGH

Mompetitors and the Competitive Mom.

One of the biggest mysteries I know is the one where friends compete. I'm not talking about a fun competition of lets see how much weight we can lose or who can make the best cupcakes. No, what was once a competition to see who could get the cutest boyfriend in high school has now moved onto a new frontier now that we are older-our children.

Some moms are completely narcissistic about their children-they talk (bragging) constantly about how talented their children are, how smart, creative and sports inclined. Others silently take it all in and make it their mission to outdo all those moms by signing their children up for EVERY class known to man. If there is not a class, then they look up online and create a lesson!

Don't make the mistake of telling anyone about trouble your child is having in a certain area; they mistake it for a weakness. It's sort of like when your best friend goes on a diet to lose five pounds because you've gained weight. This mom you tell will go out and now use you (and possibly your child) to make their child have an even greater perceived competitive edge.

I am not saying all moms are like these moms I describe above. Certainly, I have wonderful friends that are supportive, wonderful mothers that lend a helping hand or supportive ear and it's a reciprocal relationship.

Sometimes when an encounter with one of these moms occurs, I get a twinge of anger and feel that rivalry. And then, I snap out of it. After all, I want to be the best mother I can be to my children but I don't want them to have MY baggage. I am supportive but I follow their lead. The worst thing a mother can do is steal their child's ability to self-motivate and feel their own pride for their accomplishments.

So, my children are doing well and they are doing it mostly on their own. When they do something great, I say 'Good for you'. If they want to talk about their accomplishments, then I am there to encourage and show that I am proud of them and supportive of their dreams and goals. However, I am not going to awaken any sense of competition that didn't arise from their own little hearts!

And, I will not let these mothers awaken any sense of competition in my own heart that wasn't there before I met them. Just like that, these mothers are just a memory-that is until the next PTO meeting!

How about you? Do you know any moms like the competitive ones I described above? How did you deal with them?


pop is best served up as a side dish to life.
Christine Rap

2011 and believing in yourself

We continue to make music, we continue to be inspired. This has been such a long process and we finally feel that our music has hit the point where we're getting the response we are looking for and it's consistent. :)

This past Holiday we had a wonderful time with family & friends. I hope the same for you. I sometimes look around at all the abundance and count my blessings. Other times, I feel that there is so much wasted extra resources (the abundance) that could be given to some people who are starving and have no shelter. Like, when I hear of hundreds of thousands of dollars being spent on one person's holiday gift, I can't help but think of how selfish that is when little babies are starving to death.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to 2011 and our video and our single release. We're not divulging any information yet because we just want it to be the best surprise!

For now, you can visit us at http://www.modernkindmusic.net for updates!

Talk soon!

Christine
pop is best served up as a side dish to life

Film Day #5 Completed, Motherhood always being redefined

So we completed Day #5 of filming for our music video last night. We shot one of the 'family' scenes with Paul, Evan and Michelle. You may recognize Michelle from Big Brother, Season #10. She was the 'Portuguese Princess'. We had sooo much fun. They are fantastic group of talented people. :)

In the midst of all the work going on in my life, I've had little time to reflect but the past week, and probably with help from my Intro to Philosophy course, I've been questioning a lot of things. Namely, why I do certain things. I have a tendency to just go and go and never ask myself why I'm on a continuous cycle of repeating things in the same pattern. At first glance, it may seem like your life is random but when you pick apart all of the pieces of your life, you can analyze your belief system, your likes/dislikes and see how your experiences, your family and friends have all shaped who you are today. You start to realize who you are. You may even get the 'aha' moment I had today. I realized in all my efforts to 'be a good mom' and give to the community, that I don't spend enough time with my children just 'chilling out'. I further note that since the television broke, we are able to get so much more done!

I am redefining who I am as a person by analyzing things that I do, changing them and then applying them to my life to put myself into action. I'm engaging myself in a whole new way; to be present and fully aware of myself. Humans are not perfect. I am not perfect and I can't expect that from anyone. I can't expect anyone to change. I can change the way I react to the world and put myself in action. I can notice things about myself and continue to have 'aha' moments and try to make a positive change in the lives in my children. I need to be more present and do less planning.

I am studying courses so that I can rejoin the work force with new inspiration and it's having a positive effect on my life as well. I will never stop learning.


pop is best served up as a side dish to life.
Chiki

New Program Government Funded to Help Stop Bullying

This is the first episode of a series available to watch on Youtube and you can also check out a site called http://www.stopbullying.com.gov