Film Day #5 Completed, Motherhood always being redefined

So we completed Day #5 of filming for our music video last night. We shot one of the 'family' scenes with Paul, Evan and Michelle. You may recognize Michelle from Big Brother, Season #10. She was the 'Portuguese Princess'. We had sooo much fun. They are fantastic group of talented people. :)

In the midst of all the work going on in my life, I've had little time to reflect but the past week, and probably with help from my Intro to Philosophy course, I've been questioning a lot of things. Namely, why I do certain things. I have a tendency to just go and go and never ask myself why I'm on a continuous cycle of repeating things in the same pattern. At first glance, it may seem like your life is random but when you pick apart all of the pieces of your life, you can analyze your belief system, your likes/dislikes and see how your experiences, your family and friends have all shaped who you are today. You start to realize who you are. You may even get the 'aha' moment I had today. I realized in all my efforts to 'be a good mom' and give to the community, that I don't spend enough time with my children just 'chilling out'. I further note that since the television broke, we are able to get so much more done!

I am redefining who I am as a person by analyzing things that I do, changing them and then applying them to my life to put myself into action. I'm engaging myself in a whole new way; to be present and fully aware of myself. Humans are not perfect. I am not perfect and I can't expect that from anyone. I can't expect anyone to change. I can change the way I react to the world and put myself in action. I can notice things about myself and continue to have 'aha' moments and try to make a positive change in the lives in my children. I need to be more present and do less planning.

I am studying courses so that I can rejoin the work force with new inspiration and it's having a positive effect on my life as well. I will never stop learning.


pop is best served up as a side dish to life.
Chiki