The MILF and Desperate Housewives

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With a string of shows like 'Desperate Housewives',  and the 'Real Housewives' popping up everywhere, it's apparent that the trend of the 'hot' mom has hit it's high. While in some ways, it is cause to celebrate that women are still veracious and sensual after becoming a 'mom', there's something that still bothers me about this trend.

I suppose it's the thought that this is not the norm-that after a women has a child, she becomes less desirable. A man, after having children, is often looked at like less of an issue to a woman looking for a relationship. A women after having children, however, is more of a burden. She is less desirable. Similarly, a woman in the workplace is far less likely to get a promotion due to her having a child. A mother, then, is seen as someone who is unable to have a relationship or a strong career because she has the responsibility of a child.

This societal value of what a true woman is supposed to be- maternal, much like the Catholic Virgin Mary. Placed on a pedestal, the woman must remember her place on the 'throne' of motherhood. She is no longer sexy but an icon of love and nurturing. She must pack up her vagina and stop being beautiful because she is above all of the material things. Simply, she must just be 'naturally' beautiful.

Well, then mid-life crisis sets in and a man leaves his 'icon of love and nurture' of many years for a new 'sexy' and beautiful young woman. Unscathed by motherhood, this young femme will give the man what he can't get from his ex-mother.

So when I see shows that promote the 'sexy' woman with botox, fake breasts who are materialistic, I believe they are bucking the system. At the same time, it solidly confirms our need for the 'real' mothers who nurture and aren't interested in all those nasty material things; somehow assuring us it's going to be OK. Yet, when we see so much of the 'MILF' being promoted, it reminds us that this is what is considered desirable.

An alternate view may be that we all have a little of the 'desperate housewives' in us. Wouldn't that turn everything upside down and scare us all to think that women are sexy, just as sexy as men until we die?
Yes, we want the same things as men. We want to be seen as beautiful, as vital and important.

Being a mother is not a sensual death sentence and being a 'Real Housewife' is not something we aspire to be. We created the standard and we are defining it. To be reduced to a MILF suggests that mothers are no longer a part of the sexual world and they don't desire to be.