Mompetitors, Competitive Mothers. UGH

Mompetitors and the Competitive Mom.

One of the biggest mysteries I know is the one where friends compete. I'm not talking about a fun competition of lets see how much weight we can lose or who can make the best cupcakes. No, what was once a competition to see who could get the cutest boyfriend in high school has now moved onto a new frontier now that we are older-our children.

Some moms are completely narcissistic about their children-they talk (bragging) constantly about how talented their children are, how smart, creative and sports inclined. Others silently take it all in and make it their mission to outdo all those moms by signing their children up for EVERY class known to man. If there is not a class, then they look up online and create a lesson!

Don't make the mistake of telling anyone about trouble your child is having in a certain area; they mistake it for a weakness. It's sort of like when your best friend goes on a diet to lose five pounds because you've gained weight. This mom you tell will go out and now use you (and possibly your child) to make their child have an even greater perceived competitive edge.

I am not saying all moms are like these moms I describe above. Certainly, I have wonderful friends that are supportive, wonderful mothers that lend a helping hand or supportive ear and it's a reciprocal relationship.

Sometimes when an encounter with one of these moms occurs, I get a twinge of anger and feel that rivalry. And then, I snap out of it. After all, I want to be the best mother I can be to my children but I don't want them to have MY baggage. I am supportive but I follow their lead. The worst thing a mother can do is steal their child's ability to self-motivate and feel their own pride for their accomplishments.

So, my children are doing well and they are doing it mostly on their own. When they do something great, I say 'Good for you'. If they want to talk about their accomplishments, then I am there to encourage and show that I am proud of them and supportive of their dreams and goals. However, I am not going to awaken any sense of competition that didn't arise from their own little hearts!

And, I will not let these mothers awaken any sense of competition in my own heart that wasn't there before I met them. Just like that, these mothers are just a memory-that is until the next PTO meeting!

How about you? Do you know any moms like the competitive ones I described above? How did you deal with them?


pop is best served up as a side dish to life.
Christine Rap